How break ups can keep you from marrying the wrong person?
Introduction
We know breakups are the most disastrous events that can
happen to anyone as breakups are just like accident on the road. It marks the
separation of your loved one.
I understand that. But we have to muster the courage to
consider this event as an eye opener. It gives insight about the person whom we
used to love. Breakups are the eye opener to the mistakes that we do while
choosing our life partner. We get to know about the qualities of an ideal life
partner.
You get an insight of world and learn to control your
emotions and focus on yourself. Remember today's pain will be tomorrow's
strength. Remember he/she is in opportunity to get rid of you.
Nature of breakups
Breakups are painful, especially when you were with your
partner for a long time. Conversely, we never go into relationships wanting them
to end but there are always things that are going to be out of your control.
Why we break up?
Every relationship is unique, and you (or your other half)
will have your own reasons for calling it quits. But research suggests that
most breakups have one of eight broad causes: a desire for more autonomy, a
lack of shared interests or character traits, a lack of support, a lack of
openness, a lack of loyalty, a lack of time spent together, a lack of fairness,
or a lack of romance. (Interestingly, for women, a desire for autonomy is one
of the main reasons for a split.)
YOUR PAIN IS REAL
Brain research shows that rejection experiences in a
break-up can activate the same areas of the brain that physical pain or
distress do. Especially in women, a
break-up can cause cardiac pain and shortness of breath. The pain is both emotional and physiological,
which means it can be very intense.
Also consider that toxic love is the most dangerous thing
than breakup. You should say thank you to these people who give gift of breakup
to you for giving a chance to find life partner better than them. If they loved
you then after breakup they would like to be friends with you or give something
that will be helpful to you later in life. If you are burden to them or if they
loved somebody they would like to be cut off from you.
How we break up?
1. A partner loses interest in his or her significant other.
2. Next, the disinterested partner starts to notice
attractive alternative options, who could make potential dating partners.
3. Then, the disinterested partner begins to withdraw from
the relationship emotionally and/or physically.
4. The partners try to work things out.
5. The partners spend less time together.
6. A lack of interest resurfaces again.
7. One partner, or perhaps this time both of them, consider
ending things permanently.
8. The partners communicate their feelings with each other.
9. The partners try to work things out again.
10. Despite still trying to work things out, one or both
begin to notice other people.
11. One or both partners begin to act distant.
12. One or both may go on dates with other people, while
still seeing each other.
13. The cycle repeats itself as the partners decide to get
back together again and try one last time.
14. One or both partners consider breaking up again.
15. One or both seriously distance themselves and gain a
feeling of having moved on, while still technically being in the relationship.
16. The couple breaks up.
Look for these traits
Some are like time passers that is they would like to be
with everyone for their enjoyment. Some
are like they will manipulate you emotionally. Some are like two timers ie
dating two people at the same time. May be they think that you do not fit into
their expectations ie they feel that you cannot cater to their future self
needs. Some are like taking advantage of your goodness. Some are like having
high affinity for money. Some play psychological games to keep you trapped in
their web of deceit by guilt tripping you, gaslighting you, or by method of
triangulation. Some manipulate you to gain control over relationships by love
bombing, isolation, trivializing, shifting blame, overpowering, withholding.
Remember cheating is a choice not a mistake. Loyality is a
responsibility not a choice.
A note on triangulation
In this, a third person is invvited into the picture of a two-person
situation. This can be an ex-partner, a friend, or even a family member. The
manipulator brings into use this third person so as to create rivalry,
jealousy, or animosity.
Conclusion
Try to recognize these mind games so that you will be able
to maintain your emotional health and independence.
Remember relationships are built on mutual respect,
understanding and platonic love—not mind games and control.
These mind games can destroy your mental health.
Do you know what is platonic love. Well I will tell you. A
platonic relationship can be defined as the relationship in which two people
share a close bond but do not have any sexual activity. They may even
experience love for each other, referred to as platonic love. This concept
originates in the ideas of the ancient philosopher Plato, who believed that
platonic love could bring people closer to a divine ideal and also to god.
The platonic relationship focused on the idea that people
can be close friends without sexual desire.
People who are in platonic relationship have deep a
connection, but they also take into consideration each other's personal space
and respect them. They don't indulge in forcing the other person to do things
they don't want to do or be something that they are not.
Thus breakups protects you from marrying a wrong person.
References:
1. 7 psychological games people play to keep you trapped in their web of deceit. by Lucas Graham
2. 11 mind games manipulators play to gain control in a relationship by Isabella Chase
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