Navigating Toxic Positivity: Finding Balance and Authenticity

                                       Navigating Toxic Positivity: Finding Balance and Authenticity

Introduction

I am sure you will agree with me with the fact that you came across the idea of staying positive in every situation. But is it really the solution to all of your problems.

Though the positive outlook is not wrong. But compulsion to stay only positive may cause ignorance to serious problems or not convey the fundamental mental health issues. This is only one side of a coin.

Another side of the coin is that persons who are under pressure to smile in spite of adversity may become less susceptible to seek support. They may have feeling of isolation or have feeling of shame about their feelings, discouraging them from seeking help. In accordance with the American Psychiatric Association, stigma can discourage an individual from searching for mental health treatment.

Failure to talk about emotions like anxiety, anger and sadness which occur due to loss or mistreatment will not force them to go away. Simply discussing these emotions decrease their power to dominate over person’s mind, thus aiding a person feel less surrounded by them.

In this post I will discuss about how to dismantle toxic positivity and also how you can acquire optimism.

What is toxic positivity?

Toxic positivity can be described as preoccupation or mania for positive thinking. Toxic positivity forces people to fake their happiness despite the fact that they are fighting with their sadness and grief deep in their minds.

Toxic positivity is not real, it is an illusion as it is the assumption that you ought to possess a positive mindset and that everything is all right but actually it is not.

With toxic positivity, negative emotions are deemed to be inherently bad. Instead of this, positivity and happiness are forced on to a person, and real human emotional experiences are subjected to denial or subjected to invalidation.

Toxic positivity distract us from the problem we are currently facing and avoids space and time for self- compassion which is necessary for our mental health. Toxic positivity also distract us from the actual solution to our problems.

Difference between Toxic positivity and genuine optimism

The main difference between toxic positivity and genuine optimism is that toxic positivity is emotional avoidance while genuine positivity never puts reality into denial. Genuine positivity brings your real pain into acknowledgement as well as gives experience of authentic positive emotions like love, inspiration and hope. In brief toxic positivity is hope without accepting reality while genuine optimism is positivity rooted with reality and also is positivity that accepts the negative emotions like pain and sadness that means there is room for empathy in genuine optimism. It’s discovering resilience, bravery, and personal responsibility in unpleasant situations.

While resilience is a sign of genuine optimism and you have a thinking that even good things can result from adverse events and you have a feeling that good things will occur in future, the signs of toxic positivity include feeling guilty with regard to your feelings and trying to get over it by disallowing negative emotions and feeling shameful and frustrated of being unable to maintain your optimism

Toxic positivity examples

The examples of toxic positivity are:

1.       1.Suppose you share your problem with your friend and then he/she says that everything happens for a reason

2.       2.Suppose you had a breakup with your girlfriend and you tell this to your friend and then he/she says that you will get over it.

3.       3.Advising someone to direct their focus on positive side of a devastating loss for instance death of a near and dear one.

4.       4.Identifying someone who always seem positive or do not express their emotions as being stronger or more agreeable than others.

5.       5.Advising someone to welcome new happiness amidst loss of a near and dear one.

6.        6.Toxic positivity quotes like “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”, “You are who you are because of what happened to you”, “Anger is never the answer”, “Just be positive!” are examples of toxic positivity.

7.       7.When a person tells his friend that he is sad because of not getting promotion or hike in salary, then his friend tells him that it is not as bad as it appears.

8.       8.Asking people to prosper no matter what hardship they are facing.

Toxic positivity in the workplace

Toxic positivity is the principle that employees ought to concentrate on positive emotions and do not allow negative feelings in the workplace. When the values and behaviours are designed in such a way that becomes the root cause of “toxic positivity”, this is called as ‘corporate gaslighting’. This makes people belief that their own intuitive response is not acceptable. A toxic positivity demands being enthusiastic and upbeat in spite of the menacing situation. Even though everything goes wrong, you are not permitted to display anything which seems to be negative. An excess of positivity can cause significant harm to mental health of employees and thus to the company.

In the work environment accompanied by toxic positivity, people are concerned mainly with the bright side and avoid the negative topics and news. This gives the feeling of everything being fine when it is actually not. Ups and downs and areas of improvement always occur. Example is when, during the tough time, leaders inform their workforce that there is nothing to be worried about and the company is still performing great. But then they shut offices down.

How to deal with toxic positivity?

Some strategies which are helpful in avoiding toxic positivity which is self-imposed include:

·         1.recognizing negative emotions as natural and a necessary section of the human experience

·         2.you have to identify and name emotions instead of trying to avoid them

·         3.you need to talk to trusted people about negative feelings(emotions).

·         4.you need to seek support from trusted friends or a therapist who do not judge your emotions

Other methods of dealing with toxic positivity are:

·          1.You need to take a lapse of time from social media

·         2.Surrounding yourself with good(positive) people is necessary.

·         3.You should not ignore your emotions

·         4.One of the ways to counter toxic positivity is to create a room where all the emotions are authenticated and welcomed.

·         5.You should be realistic about your feelings

·         6.You should remember that it is ok not to be ok.

·         7.You should recognize toxic positivity messages like “Positive vibes only,” “Choose happiness,” etc. These messages dismiss other genuine emotions.

Conclusion

When we ignore difficult emotions, these feelings get intensified and takes the shape of toxic positivity.

It’s impossible for a person to think positively all the time.

Someone cannot be forced to exhibit only positive emotions as it can make them feel bad about themselves as they have negative thoughts.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is toxic positivity the same as real empathy?

In toxic positivity there is lack of empathy: Genuine empathy understands someone’s feelings, both positive and negative. Toxic positivity replace this empathy with meaningless statements, which makes the individual to feel not being heard and not being cooperated.

Is toxic positivity a mental illness?

Toxic positivity can seriously have an impact on mental health leading to feelings of guilt and anxiety.

Is toxic positivity a coping mechanism?

Toxic positivity is not a coping mechanism. It doesn't feel good because it's not the end result of love and generosity; it's the end result of avoidance, anxiety and fear.

Why do people have toxic positivity?

People do have toxic positivity as they reject negative feelings even though they are appropriate. Denial of these feelings leads to further unhappiness in long run.

Is toxic positivity narcissism?

Ultimate Form of Control is Toxic positivity. By disregarding your feelings and humiliating you for making a big fuss about something, narcissists can embarrass you into silence.